Working toward the future, Living in the present

Untitled by lauren would

I’m working on a short documentary, eating close to no meat, dematerializing my life, running daily, and deciding how and when I should get TEFL certified to teach English in foreign countries. I have an internship opportunity in NYC, otherwise I’m looking into Masters programs abroad or seriously considering teaching English. Pictured above is my boyfriend, Alessandro. When we went for a run on Sunday he did an Italian lesson with me. I’m struggling to find time to do everything I want to be doing.

I graduate college in less than three months. I’m daydreaming about my future, but I’ve got to focus on the present.

Meditation and awareness of being rely on living in the present moment. I haven’t been meditating, but I’ve been trying to incorporate healthy habits into my daily lifestyle (how I cope with stress, how I socialize, how I make decisions). I’ve found that incorporating mindfulness into one’s own life can be difficult when you see college as the predecessor to a future. I think it’s important to realize that one can in fact live mindfully, self-aware, peacefully, etc. without ‘college’ having to lose the previously given meaning. College can be the predecessor to a future without being reliant on a certainty or grasp on the end result. Your life doesn’t have to rely on an end result just as one’s love for piano doesn’t have to rely on fame. I strive to live each day to gain knowledge and create experiences that will in unknown amounts of time piece together and complete a whole. I have faith in the present moment, the spontaneous, and the seemingly coincidental. Faith in the present moment makes every moment important, and therefore every individual driven. Faith in the present moment creates unplanned ‘miracles,’ and it does not replace drive but promotes it.

I realize that the astounding costs of college tuition may make the idea of ‘living in the present’ while attending school seem like a privilege, but greater knowledge many times comes from experiences outside of college.

We’ll see where I am and what I’m doing 10 years from now. My ‘life in the present moment’ philosophy may not be the one of multi-millionaires, but should money be the key anyway?

Carrying this topic further, I think my need to live in the present moment has been my biggest issue in my long distance relationship. Being so far apart from someone, and having such a huge time difference, has created a lot of issues. I cannot physically touch or see him when we are apart, but I can physically touch and see those who live in my community. I also cannot separate myself from the Central Time Zone. After class I generally want to go for a run, take a nap, or catapult myself into homework. 4pm my time is 11pm his time. Before bed, those in a relationship generally want to have a conversation with their significant other.

Talking about the dynamics of my long distance relationship with a friend made what I believe to be the issue more clear: My reality is in Columbia, Missouri, GMT -5h. His reality is in Brescia, Italy, GMT +2h.

I’m always late, so myself and time have never been the best of friends. Though I don’t get along with the concept, I still live by it. The fact that time and place create my reality, and therefore make my (very) long distance relationship much harder is another reason time has become my enemy.

Perhaps I am not truly living in the present moment by placing such importance on time, place and current surroundings. In fact, maybe I’m actually doing the contrary.

Also, I could  just be missing the point entirely and I simply have intimacy issues. Only time will tell…

Here’s a link to an article about the idea of time and consciousness.

Do time and place create your reality, or something else? What is reality for you?

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About lauren would

I have many books on my "to-read" list

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